Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 2956 of 3212

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Pre-script: Deb -- please don't take the following as
a diatribe against your recent post. I agree with 99%
of what you said, the "failure" bit just jostled
something I've been thinking about for a while.

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I'm not sure replacing the word "failure" with some
euphemism or pretending it doesn't exist helps any.
The word may be harsh, but the reality is harsher.
Don't wallow in failure, but don't blind yourself to
it. I think the best way to deal with failure is to
accept that it happens, forgive yourself and learn
from it when it happens, and try not to let it happen
again. If you pretend it's not there you're just going
to turn everything into foul is fair mush. Forgive
yourself, but forgive yourself for *something*. 

Failure is a useful concept. Without failure there can
be no success. "Setback" implies that success is
inevitable. That is neither true nor inspiring. It's
no more inevitable than failure. You have to work.
Don't despair, but don't sit around and wait.

"OK"ness isn't even a euphemism for failure. It's
worse. It's code for never having really tried. It's
nothing towards which one aspires, it's about not
aspiring at all.

You often hear "the world isn't black and white, it's
shades of gray." This is true, in a way. But is it
useful? Effective moral action requires upping the
contrast a little (or a lot). So no, black and white
is too simple, but I think the more fashionable shades
of gray has its risks too. One of the chief advantages
of the nosdiet is that it forces sharp distinctions,
not because this presents the most accurate picture of
the world, but because it enables effective action in
the world. You need to see failure clearly to avoid
it. Did you swerve a bit more than you absolutely
needed to? Maybe so, but at least you saw it and
swerved.

It's not "shades of grey" vs. "black and white." It's
about the appropriate level of contrast. If everything
is a gray soup to you, morally or otherwise, you'll
never get anything done, except maybe pat yourself on
the back for the bootless fidelity of your moral
vision. Effective action requires that you up the
contrast to a certain level. Do you lose accuracy?
Yes. But our job is not to describe the world in all
it's exceptional detail. Our job is to act in it. Can
you overdo this? Of course. Every evil has an equal
and opposite evil. It's like the two monsters, Scylla
and Charybdis, that Odysseus had to sail between. But
I'd say most people diet-wise err on the side of low
contrast. They worry about black and white Charybdis
when gray Scylla is having them for lunch (or as a
midnight snack).

Nos makes the bulk of your eating decisions a simple
binary right/wrong. Is there some gray around the
edges? Sure. Is there a lot of gray on the weekends?
Yes. Gray is much harder than black and white. It's
also inevitable. Don't rush into it. If you can't see
black and white, there's no way you can see shades of
gray. So get yourself strong on high contrast N days
and you'll have a chance on shadowy S days.

Frankly, black, white, and gray are all depressing
stuff. How about some color? Red, yellow, green works
well for me...

More on the red, yellow, green "habit traffic lights"
here:

http://nosdiet.com/group/2516

and here:

http://nosdiet.com/group/2351

May your N days be green, and your S days yellow,

Reinhard