Everyday Systems: nosdiet: message 2948 of 3212

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General observation:

You shouldn't beat yourself up too much for your
failures, but you should pay attention to them. Lots
of screw ups ("emotional eating") are themselves a
kind of beating yourself up. Comfort food can be a
kind of scourge, "I too think I am worthless,
mom/dad/world, behold this doughnut I am stuffing down
my face." So you aren't really doing yourself any
favors by saying "I forgive myself, I'm OK." Sure it's
a reward, too, but that just makes the punishment more
exquisite. Forgiving yourself for not forgiving
yourself is confusing, at the very least. Instead say,
"aha, that's how the enemy got me this time. Have to
watch out for that trick in particular." Emotional
eating shouldn't be granted any special exemptions.
It's a bad problem that doesn't deserve any breaks.
The fact that it claims them *is* the problem. Think
of it this way: you are punishing yourself with food,
and then feeling guilty about having punished
yourself. You are punishing yourself by making
yourself more guilty. How is there *any* good in that?

If you make a solemn face at the coffee creamer in the
morning and then wolf down a pound cake at midnight
because you're depressed, you're being penny wise
poundcake foolish. That gets you nowhere, either
diet-wise or self-worth-wise. So what to do?

If you've fallen into this particular trap, give it
your particular attention. If it keeps you from
achieving (say) those magic three solid weeks of good
nos habits, make "so scourging" an explicit S. You
want a replacement behavior? Try emotional exercise. 

http://nosdiet.com/group/824

Exercise is physically hard, in that it's more
scourge-like than emotional eating, which is the
easiest thing in the world. But its endorphins (or
whatever) will cheer you up and more importantly its
accomplishment will cheer you up and its effect will
cheer you up. If you do my favorite exercise:

http://www.urbanranger.com

you'll even have a good oportunity to think through
what's getting you down. Walking is
auto-psychotherapy, and far cheaper than the regular
kind. 

Can't get out to walk because it's 4 in the morning
and not safe outside? No excuse. Pop a yoga tape in,
or hit the floor and pump out pushups. As I mentioned
in my last post, having an excuse proof default
"backup" exercise routine that doesn't require any
special equipment or travel or big time investment is
hugely helpful.

If exercise, despite it's "e"ness and the above
advantages, doesn't do it for you, think of something
else -- in advance. This is a dangerous pattern that's
going to take explicit intervention to rewire.
Emotional eating isn't excuse worthy. It isn't
(really) a reward. It's the opposite: it's a
punishment. So be nice to yourself: don't do it.

Reinhard